The Chug-Chug of Sheldon's Mind Re-write!
by TicheEverlong
Summary: The insight of Sheldon's mind from the Locomotive Manipulation and onwards, we will follow Sheldon as he attempts to reason with himself to get over his fears and show Amy the love she deserves. Rating may change, but it depends how the development of Sheldon goes, as at the moment, he is no-where near that out of comfort zone! -RE-WRITE IN PROGRESS-
1. Chapter 1

The Chug-Chug of Sheldon's Mind

It is a wide known fact that when people kiss, fireworks are presumed to streak across the air in wide colourful symphonies that promise to never diminish. It is also presumed that the world comes to a standstill, refusing to spin on its axis, just so the moment will last that little bit longer. For Sheldon, all of these things seemed to happen – but yet, he knew none of that wasn't possible.

For Sheldon, kissing Amy came with the ability to stop – to stop thinking, to stop caring, to stop distancing. And tis came with such a feeling of intense relief that all that mattered in that singular moment was Amy. Sheldon found that he could no longer hear the persistent voice of his inner mind, found that there was no thought interesting enough to penetrate the bubbling feeling rampaging through his body. What once started in his stomach had now engulfed his entire chest and he found it difficult to take a breath. He found that although his mind and body were compromised by this feeling, he didn't particularly mind. It made his heart beat a little faster and he felt feint. The feeling was terrifying but also exciting, it promised more. It promised Amy.

He had never encountered these feelings before. Not even Meemaw singing Soft Kitty came close, it was so distractingly new and unknown. He welcomed it. In that moment, Sheldon felt he could conquer his feelings. That he could become indifferent to what he had hated and hidden from for his entire life.

Sheldon knew in that moment that he could never let go of Amy, the thought of anyone else being in his situation made him feel devastated. She was clearly his, and his alone. Perhaps made especially for him, for who else would find his strange ways endearing other than Amy? He swore to himself, as well as to Amy, that he would never risk losing the chance of feeling what he was currently feeling. Even being afraid of change would not hinder him on this promise to them both. He knew that it wouldn't be an easy, instant step that he could just charge into and knew that he would have to overcome his resistance and hatred of not only change, but of showing true emotion and letting his guard down. He swore to try and show Amy his emotions, because they were there and were entirely focused on her.

He would try until he succeeded because failure was not an option. He would succeed, because nothing was more frightening that the thought of not having Amy in his life. As he gently pulled away from her embrace, as he finally took that deep, shuddering breath that he so desperately needed, a singular thought flittered across his mind.

_What have you done to me?_


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

_Knock, Knock, Knock _\- "Penny."

_Knock, Knock, Knock _\- "Penny."

_Knock, Knock, Knock _\- "Penny."

Sheldon took a well measured step back as he heard Penny shuffle to the door and timed her approach on his watch.

"Sheldon. It's 8am, what do you want." She mumbled, looking as if she had just dragged herself out of her bed.

"Dear lord, Penny. It took you 46 seconds exactly to get from your bedroom to the door, you really should lengthen your stride and shuffle your feet less." He said matter of fact, looking up from his watch with a bemused expression, "however, now that you are clearly awake, I have errands to run and require your motor vehicle skills."

Whilst saying this he adjusted the strap of his shoulder bag and stepped back half a step, turning his body in a clear invitation for her to leave her apartment and head for her car.

"Are you out of your mind?" she squawked before backtracking, "wait don't answer that. Why don't you go and ask Leonard?"

Sheldon made a tutting sound with his tongue and put his hands on his hips. "You know full well that Leonard is in work."

"Well it seems like you're out of luck then, because I am not leaving this apartment today. I don't want to, and I won't." She said, stomping her foot childishly.

"Penny. You should listen to yourself. Acting as if not wanting to do something simply allows you to not do it. You should know-"

Penny, clearly getting frustrated at not being back in her bed yet, decided that it was time to use the scare tactics. "Oh no, I feel rather ill all of a sudden," she whimpered, "Do I feel hot to you?"

She touched the back of her hand to her forehead and made to grab Sheldon's hand. He jumped back at once, pulling his t-shirt up over his nose and glaring at her.

"I know what you're doing! Stop it at once!" he whined.

"Yeah right, that's why your stood half way across the hallway." She said, rolling her eyes. "Why don't you go and ask Amy for a lift, after all, she's your girlfriend! It's her job now."

And that was that. She shut her door with a bang and Sheldon was still standing in the middle of the hallway with his t-shirt still firmly in place over half of his face.

"Go and ask Amy?" he shouted through the door and t-shirt, "What are you thinking! I can't simply ask Amy anything right now, that woman is too ruled by her hormones."

'_You hypocrite.' _He thought to himself, giving a little snort and walking back to his apartment. '_As if you were any better last night.'_

Sheldon was sitting at his laptop when Leonard arrived home, Howard and Raj following behind him and bantering between themselves.

He watched as they came in with Thai food and readied his pout in case Leonard looked his way. He was planning to make him feel bad, not only because he wasn't around to enable him to do his errands, but also because Penny refused as well. He really should have words with her.

Leonard however, did not look over at Sheldon. In fact, it seemed that he was purposely avoiding it.

'_Darn it. I bet this is Penny's doing.' _He thought to himself. _'Always ruining my plans.'_

Just as he thought that, the door opened once more and Penny's head appeared. "Hey guys," she said, walking into the apartment. "What's for dinner?"

"Well _we're_ clearly having Thai food. You on the other hand, can have whatever you would like in the confines of your own home. Speaking of which, I'm positively sure that you refused to leave said home earlier this morning, so off you go." He said with a quirked eyebrow, shooing her with his hands.

'_Job well done, if I do say so myself.'_

"That wasn't very nice, Sheldon. You should be nicer to Penny, she's your friend. What's wrong with you?" Came a voice that he wasn't anticipating.

"No, don't ask that!" groaned four voices at the same time.

Sheldon swallowed forcefully, his adams apple jerking up and down in his throat. He wasn't expecting Amy to be here tonight.

"I simply haven't been able to get my groceries today," he stated, looking down at his desk and running his fingers along the edge. "It's just an inconvenience and it has ruined my schedule. Today has been wasted."

As he finished talking, Sheldon peaked a glance up at Amy, trying to judge her reaction. No one in the room could fathom how he didn't notice Amy's knees grow weak as she looked at him, sat there, eyes bright and vulnerable and peeking out from his long lashes. All Sheldon saw was Amy bite and worry at her lip.

After what must have only been seconds, Amy said, "I can take you" in a really quiet voice. She then cleared her throat and repeated herself, trying to sound nonchalant even though her heart was trying to beat itself out of her chest.

The corner of Sheldon's mouth quirked up in a smile before he opened it, seemingly to talk, but then snapped it shut without speaking. Minutes passed with Sheldon just staring into Amy's eyes, completely captivated.

The others were sat staring at the couple in quiet confusion. Until Penny cleared her throat. "Uh, anyone want a dumpling?"

"Hey! That's our food!" Howard started to rant.

Amy tore her eyes away, blushing furiously whilst questioning what had just happened. She was brushing her hands over her skirt when Sheldon spoke.

"Thank you, Amy. That would be very kind of you." He had said, accompanied with a pointed look at Penny, not actually sure whether he was doing it for the interruption or for her not preventing it in the first place. All she had needed to do to prevent this, was to take him grocery shopping. How hard was that?

He stood and gathered his jacket and bag, shrugging into them as he walked to the door alongside Amy. They were both deep in thought as they reached out to open the door and Sheldon's hand nudged hers in the briefest of touches before he yanked his back. He clutched it to his chest and stared at the door with wide eyes, the touch enough to bring back the memory of the previous night. Their kiss.

He winced as he heard Amy sigh and felt her yank open the door. She walked out and he was left to scramble after her as she walked down the stairs, wondering why he was such an idiot.


End file.
